Tonight I'm Lovin' You
by maidenpride
Summary: Part 2 of Tonight mini-series (first part published in Closer thread). Takes place at the end of S2E8 "The Deep End." Rated T for sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

AN: As promised this is Part 2 of my Tonight series (the first part can be found in the Closer thread). It can be read as a standalone. It is inspired by an Enrique Inglesis song that has two different titles (explicit version and radio version) that with the changing of one word COMPLETELY changes the intent. This second story explores the radio version of the song. In terms of timeline, this takes place Season 2 Episode 8 (The Deep End).

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Andy stood in front of the full-length mirror adjusting his bow-tie _"I like weddings"_ she told him with a sparkle in her eye. Their relationship over the last year could primarily be defined as friends with benefits. However, since she had taken custody of Rusty things had begun to change. She was rarely free to stop by his house and while he was welcome at her condo, he didn't have bedroom privileges at the moment. He thought he would be more frustrated than he was at that fact, but it had actually allowed their friendship to deep. They would eat meals together, watch the Dodger game occasionally, and help Rusty with homework. He sighed with longing, they were beginning to feel like family he realized.

"Dad?" He turned around and saw his daughter and his jar dropped. He had no words and felt his eyes get watery.

"Nic, you look beautiful, really beautiful." He walked towards her as she smiled up at him and he gave her a hug. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, most definitely!" She exclaimed as they made their way into the hall and meet Greg, the stepfather, to walk down the aisle together.

Andy was still feeling a bit upset, but was glad he came if for no other reason than to see the smile on his daughter's face a moment ago. He heard the wedding march music begin to play and took a deep breath as they slowly walked through the aisle of happy guests. He caught Sharon's eye in the third row beaming at him and he kept contact with her knowing that many others on the bride side had no interest in having him here.

Greg and Andy each kissed Nicole on the cheek and shook hands with Dean before stepping back to the pews. As Andy sat beside Sharon she grabbed his hand and patted it with the other. They sat together like that through the whole ceremony and Andy was pleased with how comfortable it felt. When the service ended and everyone began making their way out of church, he felt disappointed in the loss of contact with her. She had graciously stood outside waiting, watching as he stood with the family shaking hands with guests.

When the pictures were done and most of the cars had dispersed from the parking lot Andy made his way back to Sharon, "Hey." He said putting one hand around her waist.

She looked up at him putting a hand on his at it rested on her hip, "Hi. What a beautiful service and Nicole looked stunning!"

"She did didn't she. I'm glad I came. I'm glad you came with me."

"Me too, Andy." They walked side by side back to his car headed for the reception.

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When they walked into the reception hall together the party was in full swing. The band was playing light music as guests walked around with cocktails eating hors d'oeuvres. It was an evening ceremony and the couple had decided on lots of finger foods and appetizers over a traditional sit down meal. Andy had to admit he preferred this to a stuffy night dining with people that hated him, this way he would be able to camp out in some corner of the room.

"Would you like me to get you something to drink?" Andy asked gesturing at the very expensive open bar he was paying for.

"Hmm, just a sprite for now. Thank you."

"Sharon, it's okay if you want a glass of wine. You won't offend me." He said worried that she was trying to manage him.

"No Andy, really it's fine. We've had a long day and I haven't had much to eat. One glass and I could be tipsy. Maybe I'll have some champagne later, with the toasts, ok?" She said squeezing his arm. He looked into her eyes and saw that she was trying to reassure him, so he nodded in response. "Be right back."

When he returned moments later with his cranberry and soda and her sprite she smiled up at him, "Thank you Andy."

They found a place outside under a heat lamp and looked across the golf course as they enjoyed their drinks and snacks. The music was loud enough that they could make out the soft tunes from their seats on the bench. She bumped his shoulder and he looked down at her and wrapped an arm around her, "If I forget to tell you later, thank you for coming with me. I really appreciate it."

"Of course Andy, I would hate for you to have missed this."

"I don't just mean that Sharon." He paused not sure where he was going with this, "I'm glad it was you that came with me and not someone else." She gave him a puzzled look but then smiled as she responded, "Andy I'm your friend, I'm glad I could be here to share this with you."

Andy smiled back and began kicking himself for thinking that she might think there was more going on between them. He was certainly glad to have her friendship, grateful even, but over the past few weeks he started to feel more. He felt protective over her of course, but Rusty too in the way he felt with Nicole and Charlie, they became part of his family without him even realizing it was happening. He felt her squeeze his arm again and he looked up at her, realizing he was staring off into the distance, and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thank you for the reviews and follows. There will be one more chapter to this story.

Sharon's POV. Song selection Nora Jones "Come Away With Me." Waltz reference comes from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (great show, excellent costumes & fabulous couple to ship).

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The night continued in a happy blur. Nicole danced with her father, Dean with his mother. The bridal party gave their toasts and the band played on. Sharon sat at the back of the room not wanting to bring any attention to her presence as she watched the scenes unfold before her. Dean and Nicole walked through the guests saying their hello's, thank you's, and well wishes for the future. Andy spoke with Dean's parents with a smile on his face. Sharon grinned when she caught his eye from across the room. She really did love everything about weddings, they were so full of love and hope. They brought a ray of light to the dark corners of the world that she faced every day. Her mind drifted back to the case they closed hours earlier. She knew Mateo's father was upset, but she never dreamed he would come back with a gun. Everything about that case was beyond sad and it made her worry even more about Rusty.

"A penny for your thoughts?" A thick voice said pulling her back out of the darkness.

"Hmm, not those thoughts. Not tonight." She paused, "You looked quite handsome out their dancing with Nicole. I didn't know you had those moves in you."

He laughed, "My mother and grandmother insisted on the lessons. We may not have come up from money, but she expected two things good manners and how to be good to a lady."

She smiled in response but said nothing.

He put his hand out, "Would you care to accompany me?"

He could tell by the look on her face that she was surprised, but quickly schooled her expression and placed her hand in his. He wrapped his arm around hers in a swift movement that also caught her off guard as they moved towards the dance floor. The music had calmed from the fast paced tunes to a soft mellow glow that filled the room. When they reached the wood floor Andy twirled her out away from him and back in, pulling her close. Her eyes looked up at him in amusement as he slid his hand to the small of her back, keeping things respectable.

He put out his arm and began to lead her in a delicate waltz. She turned up to look at him, keeping her shoulders pressed back "You know the waltz is a very serious dance."

His eyes burned into hers as he spoke. "It's a good thing I'm a serious man."

Her head tilted as they continued to move effortlessly across the room, "My mother fell for my father after she was waltzed."

"Hmm, and how about you Sharon?" He asked as they spun together.

 _Perhaps I am too._ She wanted to kiss him, but knew this was neither the time nor the place for such intimacy. To everyone in the room she was 'my friend Sharon' not the sometimes friend with benefits or best-friend as she had come to feel towards him. She allowed herself to feel herself in his arms, the swift but light moves across the floor, and how the world around them seemed to disappear. She felt herself getting lost in his dark eyes. After what felt to be an endless moment the music ended and she heard clapping. A bit startled she looked over Andy's shoulder and noticed that everyone had formed a circle around them, staring at the two of them dance together. She felt her cheeks growing warm and flush from the attention.

Andy ever the gentleman spun her out into the middle, bowed and joined the crowd clapping for her. Feeling embarrassed she gave a nod of thanks and reached out for Andy's hand. He pulled her back and the band began playing again as the couples regrouped and began dancing once again. They stood still. She wasn't sure what to say or do at that moment, she felt overcome with feelings that she hadn't expected. Andy stared back at her and she felt him tug her arm as they moved through the crowd and out to the patio. The blast of cold air was more welcoming than she anticipated, she put her hands to her cheeks and felt how warm they were.

She kept her eyes trained off into the darkness, unsure of what might happen if she looked at him right now, "Remind me to send a thank you note to your mother."

She heard him chuckle behind her, "I'm sure she would appreciate it."

They stood in silence, listening to the music and enjoying the cool air. She felt her body begin to cool off from the intense heat she felt minutes ago and the change caused her to shiver. His warm body backed into hers and his arms wrapped around her. She sighed deeply, taking in his scent, his presence against her. She felt safe and happy and loved. _Love, where did that come from_. Before she couldn't think anymore Andy placed a kiss behind her ear and she felt a different kind of chill vibrate throughout her body.

It had been awhile since they had shared a bed together. When she was promoted they decided for the good of the team to put a halt to their extra-curricular activities. With Rusty in the mix it just added to the complications between them, but she found herself missing this. Missing the closeness she felt when he held her. When he kissed her she melted, she couldn't imagine being anywhere else but in his arms.

She felt Andy turn her around to face him and she bowed her head. She wasn't sure what he felt about her, if it was just physical or not. She couldn't meet his eyes, she knew that she could fall into bed with him, but she found herself wanting more. Not wanting to risk losing herself or heart she kept her eyes averted as he lifted her chin.

"Sharon." He whispered into her ear.

"Andy, I can't…I'm sorry." Her voice broke as she shook her head and tried to pull away from him.

He held onto her tightly, "You can't what." She didn't respond. "Sharon, please look at me."

She reluctantly lifted her head letting her wet eyes meet his dark chocolate eyes that seemed to look at her more deeply than anyone else ever could. Already beginning to not trust herself she kept her head held high but lowered her eyes from his gaze. "I think I should go check on Rusty."

"Provenza has Rusty tonight," he paused "Sharon, he's fine. Please talk to me."

Sharon steeled herself, straightening her back in an effort to bring confidence, "I just need a minute. Why don't you go inside, it looks like the bride and groom are getting ready to leave." Forcing a smile to her face she met his eyes again, wanting to encourage him that she would be fine. Andy looked inside and noticed that she was right, everyone was gathering by the exit.

"Okay, but please don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." He leaned down and placed a light kiss on her cheek and walked back inside.

Sharon let out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding. _I love weddings_. She shook her head frustrated with herself. _What did you think was going to happen here tonight? That he'd realize that he loved you too?_ Her hands flew to her mouth, agape from the surprise of what she just admitted to herself. Turning her back from the happy scene inside she moved into the darkness unsure of what to do. She loved Andy.


	3. Chapter 3

Andy reluctantly moved back into the reception area following the guests out to the front drive, where an old car was waiting to take Nicole and Dean off for their honeymoon. He made his way over to the rest of the wedding party when Nicole spotted him. "Hi Dad."

"Hey Nic! What a beautiful night!" He said giving her a hug.

"Yes, and thank you again for everything." She said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome, you made a beautiful bride. I hope that you and Dean are very happy." He said with a big grin, feeling tears coming to his eyes.

"If we are as remotely happy as you and Sharon are, I think we will be just fine." She said with a wink.

"We're uh, not, uh…we're just friends." He said feeling flustered by Nicole's remarks.

"Mmm, and Dean and I are just friends too Dad." Nicole said turning towards her husband.

Before Andy could respond the wedding coordinator took Nicole and Dean over to the walk way and began talking to them. He shook his head and rub the back of it. He certainly did feel happy when he was with Sharon and she didn't seem to mind his company either, but he wasn't sure if there was anything more to it than that.

The wedding coordinator came back and started passing out sparklers to everyone, asking people to stand and make an arch for the couple to walk beneath. The evening was dark and despite it being summer the air had a chill to it. The sparklers were lit and suddenly there was a beautiful glow hovering over the scene as he watched his daughter, giddy in love practically skip to the car with Dean in tow. She turned to him as she went to climb in and gave a nod in his direction. He nodded back knowing just how much it meant to her that he came, because he felt the same way. Everyone waved goodbye and the sparklers began to burn out, everything slipped back into darkness. As the crowd began to dissipate, many guests walking to their cars Andy headed back inside to find Sharon.

He was struggling to come up with the words to say thank you to her. While he had decided to come before she offered to serve as a "buffer," her presence had ended helping - as it usually did. Everything seemed to go more calmly when she was around him. He thought back to Nicole's words. The more time he spent with her as friends the more he found himself missing her company. He certainly missed her physically, that went without saying. Sexually they had a connection, as a guy he certainly felt that the words "mind-blowing" and "erotic" were most definitely appropriate. But he found the connection had grown beyond that, at least for him he had. Andy was unsure what Sharon thought or felt on the matter, they hadn't really discussed "us" since she had taken Rusty in. They came to the mutual decision to end their physical relationship and that was that.

As Andy came upon the patio where he left Sharon a few minutes earlier, he noticed that she was gone. He immediately felt his heart rate increase, his mind quickly jumping to conclusions. _Did she leave? Did someone take her? Did I do something to upset her?_ He looked over his shoulder scanning the room. He didn't see her handbag or shawl laying around. He walked over to the bathrooms hoping she was there. He waited for a few minutes, before finally asking someone. "Excuse me miss, could you do me a favor? Can you check the stalls and see if there's a woman in there - Sharon?"

"Of course." The staff woman replied. A few minutes later she came back out, "Sorry, the bathroom looks empty."

"No problem. Thank you for checking."

Andy turned back towards the patio and began walking its length hoping to see her sitting on a bench. When he got back to his starting place he looked back out into the darkness of the golf course and sighed deeply wringing his hands. _Maybe she had left. She seemed distracted before I went outside_. He looked up from his hands and thought he caught a glimpse of someone walking off in the distance. He started towards the movement, his feet picking up the pace as he moved closer and then shouting, "Sharon! Sharon!" as he approached. She turned around just as Andy closed the distance between them.

"Sharon" he said this time more softly, "Are you okay?"

She looked up but couldn't meet his eyes, "Um, er, yes Andy. I uh, just felt like getting some fresh air, taking a little walk."

He took a deep breath "Oh."

The sound of his breathing made her finally look him in the eyes, "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I didn't know where you were. Not that you have to tell me. I'm not your keeper of course. I just thought maybe, you uh, left or something." He spoke quickly, knowing he was rambling.

She smiled at him, "Why would you think I would leave without you?"

It was his turn to look down at his shoes, "Well uh, I thought maybe I did something to upset you, and that you didn't want me to take you home."

"Andy," Sharon said in a quiet voice but with some pleading for him to look up at her. Andy kept his head down, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes that he caused.

"Andy" she said again, as she put her hand to his chin asking him to lift up his face and look at her. "I'm not upset with you. Why would I be? Even if I was I would never leave without telling you."

Andy nodded, he knew that was true, she was anything but cruel. "Are you sure I didn't do something to hurt your feelings?"

She met his eyes again, "No, Andy you didn't do anything wrong. Why are you convinced that you did?"

He put his hands in his coat pockets and kicked an imaginary rock at his feet, "Well after we finished dancing and we came out on the patio, you seemed distant. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable out there, I just enjoyed holding…" he stopped himself before finishing that sentence.

Before he could clarify what he meant Sharon jumped in, "Andy you didn't make me feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry if I felt distant afterwards. I guess I was surprised at all the people staring at us, but that had nothing to do with me having danced with _you_. I just don't like all that attention." She said adding a smile.

He knew that was true, she was anything but a narcissist. She never wanted to be the center of attention. "I'm sorry Sharon."

"Andy it's fine. Please don't worry about it. It was a lovely day and a beautiful wedding. Thank you for letting me tag along."

He looked her in the eyes and felt his stomach do flip flops as he stared at her beautiful green eyes. He reached out for her hand and stroked it with his fingers, "It was beautiful, you're beautiful and thank you for coming and being by my side throughout it all it really helped more than you might ever know." He pulled her hand up to his lips intending to kiss it before he realized what he was doing. He quickly brought his other hand up and cradled her hand trying to avoid making things more awkward. "Um, well the place is closing down. Should we head back? I should probably get you home before Rusty gets worried."

She nodded and whispered "Yes." He kept his hand on hers as they walked up the path.

"Do you have everything?" He asked stopping in front of the hall.

She hesitated to respond and when looked at her he saw the sadness return to her eyes. Without thinking he let go of her hand and reached his hands up to her cheeks, "Sharon." He said softly. His eyes flitting back and forth as he looked at her, trying to read her. "Please tell me what's the matter. I can see it in your eyes."

She let out a small chuckle which caught him off guard, "How do you always do it Andy?"

He looks at her bewildered by the remark, "Do what?"

"Read me like a book. How is it that you notice before anyone else?" She stares at him.

He isn't sure how to respond, he did feel like over the last few years he had gotten to know her better. Especially over the last few months that they had been spending more quality time together, but he certainly didn't think he could read her like a book, yet. "I'm a detective remember?" He said with a large grin, hoping to make her laugh or at least smile.

She grinned, "You know what I mean."

"Actually, I'm not entirely sure what you mean. I think that I've gotten to know you better over the last few months, and maybe that has made it easier for me to tell what you're feeling. But I usually have no idea why you're feeling the way you do. Like now, your eyes turned a slightly different shade of green. They look sad and distant again. But I don't know why. You said it wasn't me, and I hope that's true. I never want you to be sad because of me."

She smiled at him softly, "That's what I mean Andy. No one else seems to know my moods as well as you. You seem to get me."

Sharon looks down again and Andy realizes that he is still touching her face, he moves to let go and give her some space when she reaches her hands up to meet his, "Don't" is all she whispers.

He gives her a puzzled look, but when he sees her eyes he notices they've changed again. He recognizes that color, but finds himself surprised by it. "Sharon," he whispers as he looks at their hands together on his chest and he closes the space between them. He puts his forehead on hers and he hears her let out a small sigh. This close to her he can smell her hair and he finds himself wanting to let his hands wander. He had always found her more intoxicating than any glass of Scotch he had ever consumed. He saw her biting down on her bottom lip as she did on occasion, and had to bite on his own to keep from kissing her. Andy felt his body beginning to get worked up and he knew he was going to have to pull away from her before he lost control. He let his hands drop down to his sides, but felt hers move to his chest and begin to fiddle with his tie. "Andy" she spoke in a quiet voice. He pulled back his forehead and looked at her.

She bit her lip again and Andy felt his body involuntarily respond by moving even closer to her. "I'm sad because I miss you. I look distant because I'm trying to stay in control."

Andy moves his hands up to her shoulders and lightly caresses her bare skin, causing her to let out a small gasp. He looks at her surprised, "Why do you miss me? I'm right here. I've always been right here."

"I know." Is all she says.

He pulls her shawl up as he feels goosebumps on her skin, "What is making you feel like you're out of control? That you feel you have to distance yourself from me. Please tell me what I did so I can fix it."

Sharon looks up at him and shakes her head, "You didn't do anything wrong Andy, quite the opposite in fact. It's my fault and I just need to deal with it."

This time it is Andy's turn to shake his head, "No, Sharon. I disagree. What could possibly be your fault?"

She stood quiet as he continued to rub her arms, her head looking off into the distance, "I told you we had to stop, but that's not what I wanted." She spoke in such a quiet voice Andy barely heard what she said. He wasn't even sure if he had heard her correctly, _it sounded like she was saying she wanted things to go back to the way they were._ "Sharon," he brought his right hand up to her cheek and gently turned her head back towards him. "Are you saying that you miss being with me?"

Sharon couldn't speak, she nodded her head up and down and Andy could see that she felt ashamed by this and was concerned. "Are you upset because you are feeling like this and don't want to be?"

She took a step back from him, "I, uh, I said we shouldn't be together anymore, so yes I should stop feeling like this. I need to let you go."

Andy took a step forward, "I understand, but that's not what I'm asking. Do you _want_ to let me go?"

Sharon stepped back again, "Well I can't continue living in some fantasy."

"Hmm," he stepped towards her once more, "So you have fantasies about me," he said with a grin. She didn't say anything but he could see it in her eyes. "But Sharon, you still haven't answered the question. Do you _want_ to be with me?"

She went to step back once more but found herself up against the wall, "Yes" she whispered.

Andy moved closer to her, closing the space between knowing she couldn't continue backing up, "Do you want to be with me Sharon?"

Sharon looked up into his eyes and he saw both anxiety but also desire, he knew he had his answer, but he needed her to say it. To admit it to herself, to him, for them. She shook her head, nodding yes.

Andy moved closer still, leaving no gap between them, "I need to hear you say it. Do you want _me_?" He said it into her ear and placed a very light kiss below her ear lobe.

"Yes" She finally exclaimed, "Yes I want you. I never stopped wanting you. Just with the transfer and Rusty and the team. I just didn't know what to do or how to do it." She spoke loudly as she carried on for a moment.

Andy kept close to her neck as he replied, "I do recall that you do know what to do and know how to do it quite well." He knew that wasn't what she meant, but he couldn't help but lightly teasing her. He needed to break the emotional tension, to let her know it was ok.

"That's not what I meant." She shot back in her Darth voice, but he knew it was a mock-Darth voice. Had it been the real one, he would have immediately stepped back and given her space. Instead he placed another light kiss below her jaw. He felt her tremble beneath him and noticed his body responding to her once again.

"I know you didn't. Sharon, I don't have all the answers, but I want you in more ways than just this one," he gestured between them, "I want to be with you, to share our lives and our bodies together. I never stopped wanting that, only now I know why." _Because I'm in love with you…_ He placed another kiss on her jaw causing her to let out a soft moan, "Andy."

His hips bucked against hers at the sound of his name on her lips in that low gravely tone she used to get when they were together. "Please kiss me," she asked. He wasted no time, not wanting her to change her mind. He kissed her hard and she quickly opened her mouth for him as the kiss deepened. She brushed her teeth along his bottom lip and sucked it causing him to moan. They continued kissing for a few more moments until they heard a door open beside them. The noise caused them to jump back noticing the staff dragging waste bins out of the hall. Andy grabbed Sharon's hand and pulled her away from the wall, "C'mon let's get out of here."

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AN: Well this mini-ditty was only supposed to be two chapters, but wouldn't you know it is going to take at least one more for me to close this one out. I think that means those that wanted more of this story will be pleased. Thanks for the reviews. I might just get the final chapter up in time to give everyone a reprieve from their families this holiday weekend. Forewarning an M rating ;)


	4. Chapter 4

The ride back to her condo had been quiet, but not uncomfortable. They held hands the entire time, Andy occasionally lifting her hand to his lips placing a soft kiss onto her knuckles. They stood close together as the elevator jerked upwards taking them to the eleventh floor. As Sharon put her keys into the lock and pushed the door opened, "I had a lovely time tonight, thank you for coming with me. It really means the world to me to know that I have your friendship. Having you in my life has been an immense joy that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world." Sharon turned and looked up at him, his eyes were a rich shade of brown and she knew he was being completely honest with her. Honest in a way that she was unaccustomed to with the men in her life. Andy might jokingly call it an occupational hazard, but she knew the truth. Jack had done far more damage to her that she ever cared to admit. It was the reason why she was willing to call things off with Andy after her transfer, she knew they could make it work, but she couldn't risk her heart. Not again. But now in this moment standing here with Andy she knew it wasn't a risk, he already had it and despite not being together the past year he was already taking care of it. She felt a tear drop down her cheek, before she could raise a hand to wipe it away Andy was there pushing his thumb across her cheek for her. She smiled at him, "Why am I the only one crying?" She asked softly.

"Sharon, I never want you to cry. It hurts me to watch you cry."

"I guess you think I'm being silly," she said looking down at their feet.

"Never. I just wish that you didn't find the things I say so upsetting." Andy removed his hand from her cheek and began to turn away.

Sharon immediately felt the loss when he removed his hand, and she knew he misunderstood what she was crying over. "Andy, don't go…" He stopped. "I need you." He turned around, but remained quiet as she continued, "I've always needed you. It was never just sex. I tried to convince myself that it was, part of me even wanted it to be just sex because that would have made everything easier. But it wasn't. I'm crying because I've been blind and stupid. I'm crying because I've been afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Andy asked.

"Afraid of breaking into a million pieces, of not being able to put myself back together when you leave, when you break my heart. "

"When. Why when?" He asked softly, moving closer to her.

"That's what happens Andy. I'm the Ice Queen, the Wicked Witch, Darth Raydor. I can't be loved. People might think I don't love or care about people, like I'm a robot, but I do. I'm a hopeless romantic. I've given my heart out before only to have it repeatedly crushed. I've figured out how to pull myself back up from that, but I don't think I can do it again — not if _you're_ the one that breaks it."

"Why is that?"

This time Sharon turns around, suddenly feeling anxious with their closeness, but before she could stop herself from uttering it she blurt out the words that she had been holding back for two years now. "Because I'm in love with you."

The room went quiet. Sharon felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room, that she would collapse from the vacuum like pressure. She felt her body leaning forward, when an arm came up around her. Sharon felt warm breath by her ear as Andy spoke, "I love you, I've always loved you. You have my heart, only you. Forever and always." Just like that the air spilled back into the room and they shared a deep breath together. She turned around into his arms and looked up at him, his eyes now just as teary as hers. She chuckled and he nodded, "I guess you're not the only one crying now. I would do anything for you Sharon, even cry, if that's what you needed. I've had some loves in my life, but no great love, not until now. You're my last love, my great love. I am here for you as long as you'll have me." She nodded and held him close.

Andy bent down in his tuxedo, taking Sharon's hands into his as he knelt before her. As he stared up at her in her beautiful gown with tears streaming down her face, he never imagined her more striking that she was right now. She was smiling and crying and it was a sight to behold. He pulled a thin silver band out from his coat pocket, "I've been carrying this around with me for two years now. Hoping. Waiting. Wishing that some day I might get an opportunity to give this to you. Sharon O'Dwyer Raydor I love you with all my heart. I would bring you the moon and stars just to make you smile and I would be honored until my dying day to call you my wife, lover, partner. Will you marry me?"


	5. Chapter 5

Sharon stared down at Andy, taken completely by surprise at his declaration. Andy bowed his head down to the floor at her silence, he knew it was too much too soon. He started to pull himself up off the floor, not wanting to prolong the embarrassment, "Andy," she said softly. She nudged his chin with her hands trying to get him to look up at her. When they were both startled by the sound of the door opening.

"Thanks for dinner Lieutenant," yelled Rusty as he barreled through the front door nearly tripping over Andy whose bent leg was still positioned on the floor. "Oh shit!" Rusty exclaimed both for the near fall and for the scene he just found himself in.

Without missing a beat Sharon responded, "Language Rusty!"

"I thought you two were _going_ to a wedding not _being_ in one." He said voice dripping in teenage sarcasm.

The moment was broken, the magic began to dissipate from the room and Andy stood up. He looked over at Sharon who shook her head. Andy took that to be her answer and headed for the door, putting the ring back into his pocket.

"You don't have to leave on my account Lieutenant."

"Uh it's getting late. I'll see you on Monday Captain. Thanks again for coming with me this evening." Andy said pulling the door behind him.

Sharon's feet felt like they were submerged in cement, rooted to her spot she hadn't moved since he had proposed. Life was swirling around her and before she realized it Andy was gone.

Rusty moved towards the kitchen, "Well, so did you say yes?"

Sharon shook her head, but said nothing as she continued to stare out the door where the man she loved had just left. Rusty peered around the corner at her when he was met with silence.

"You said no?" He asked.

"I uh, no." She stuttered.

Rusty grabbed a glass from the cabinet, "So you said yes? I'm confused."

Still fixed to the floor she replied, "No. I mean, I uh didn't say anything."

"Wow Sharon that's pretty cold." He said as he filled his cup with water from the fridge.

Sharon turned to look at Rusty for the first time since we had arrived, "I was surprised and then you came home. I didn't have a chance."

"Well I'm sorry for ruining the evening, but I think you should at least give him an answer. Dude deserves at least that much." He said taking his cup of water and heading towards the hallway. "I'm headed to bed."

"Night." She replied, still standing in the middle of the living room staring at the door.

 _Why didn't I say anything_ , she wondered. She did love the man, but in that moment felt so overwhelmed by emotions to speak. She was still married and there was the issue of Rusty and her other children to think about. Not to mention that she was still his boss, and there was the team dynamic to consider. The whole thing was ridiculously complicated. She wasn't sure how he could think it would ever work. So they loved each other, what did that really mean anyways.

She gathered up her skirt and ran out the door towards the elevators. Pressing the button impatiently, hoping that he was still in the building.

Meanwhile, Andy sat in his car in her parking garage admonishing himself for pushing things so quickly. The moment had just felt so right, so magical that his heart took over before his brain could catch up. He looked down at the ring in his hands and suddenly felt the strong urge to go to a meeting. Looking at the clock, he knew if he left now he could just make the 11:30 meeting at St. Agnes. He put the ring back into his pocket and pulled out of the garage.

When the elevator door finally opened in the basement she caught a glimpse of his car turning out onto the street. She felt her knees go weak and the bubbling of tears rising from within. She steeled herself against the wall and took deep breaths as she tried to collect herself. She knew she needed to let it out, but not here not now.

Sharon made the long journey back up to the eleventh floor back to her condo. She quietly locked up the house and headed to her room. She took off her jewelry and then the dress. She wiped the make-up off her face and turned on the shower. She waited until the steam filled the room and covered the mirrors before she collapsed onto the tile floor as the water streamed over her and sobbed. Everything was a mess.

XXXXXXX

AN: It would seem that this story just doesn't want to be the short 4 chapter piece I originally intended. I promise this is going somewhere and that it will get there soon. Meanwhile, I am working on the beast of a story that is Syncopate and a little holiday ditty inspired by some other posts I've seen over the last few days.


	6. Chapter 6

Sharon tried calling and texting Andy several times that night, but got no response. His phone went straight to voicemail. Finally, giving in to the notion that she wasn't going to hear from him because he didn't want to be she crawled into bed and fell asleep from emotional exhaustion. She would allow herself to feel the pain and the immense hurt as her heart broke - tonight and perhaps tomorrow, but by Monday she would need to pull herself together. Pick of the pieces and put one foot in front of the other. It was a familiar feeling, going through the motions and she hated it. She hated it when it was years of Jack and then Andy - the first time they broke things off. _We weren't together this time._ She shook her head knowing that to be a lie. They were more together the last two years than they ever were the year they spent on and off in one another's beds. That's why it hurt, and once again it was all her fault. She pushed him away for her job, for Rusty and now because of fear.

Monday came and went. To Andy's credit he managed to steel his emotions at work. He didn't appear angry or distant with her, but she could see the sadness in his eyes. As Sharon peered out her office window she felt that she was having the hard time of keeping her emotions in check. Every moment they had alone she wanted to reach over and touch him, sometimes she found herself doing so - out of habit, and quickly pulled away. He never pulled back, in fact he almost always gave her a small smile before she moved her hand. _We can do this, we can stay friends_ she reminded herself every day.

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the shock from the sudden proposal and honesty of emotions shared that evening became more etherial - almost a myth. Some days when she got dressed she would let her hands glance over the gown she wore that night, allowing the fondness to seep in, the momentary what if she had said yes. Some days it would make her heart break, others it felt filled to the brim with love. It took awhile for their lunches to reconvene, their occasional trips to dinner or a movie _as friends_ they would remind themselves. Sharon wasn't surprised when Andy invited her to The Nutcracker that December, she saw how he had worked himself into a fit about the whole thing. She had figured that his kids had gotten the wrong idea about them, but she couldn't blame them they very nearly had it right. For a night she was going to allow herself to live the dream, the what if and spend it with him and his family - _her family_.

When she returned home from the ballet and took off her dress, jewelry, and make-up she looked at the program Andy had given her from the show and set it up on her dresser. Next to it sat the wedding invitation and a pair of Dodger tickets - mementos she cherished dearly. She went out into her darkened living room, opened the desk drawer and pulled out a leather notebook. She untied the leather straps and sat down to write herself a note, a promise really.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Andy felt his blood pressure rise as Jack sauntered into the murder room as if he owned the place. Given they didn't have any suspects in custody yet, there was no _official_ reason why he would be here today. He looked up at Sharon and saw her body tense for a moment before shifting into her Darth Raydor mode, she gave him a quick nod letting him know it was okay, that this wasn't a surprise visit.

"Jack would you mind waiting in my office, I'll be with you in a moment."

"What?! No hello?"

"Hello Jack, would you mind waiting in my office, I'll be with you in a moment."

Sharon walked away, she was expecting him to show up today after all she asked him to stop by, but she still needed a minute to pull herself together. The conversation she was about to have was a long time coming, but it nonetheless made her feel a bit anxious.

She wasn't surprised how the conversation went, after all this was Jack. Gavin had given her all the prep she needed for how to handle him, legally. She was looking to put her family back together and it started with finally removing the perennial thorn in her side. When he was finally gone she let out a deep breath that she didn't know she had been holding in, for the first time in twenty years she felt like she was taking control of her life and it felt good. _Now to let everyone else in on my plans…_

Later that night…

"…Then he started asking me a lot of questions about you."

"Oh, really. How so?"

"Well he seemed to think you were dating someone. Which would be news to me."

"Oh me too." _At least not yet._

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 **AN: Apologies for the short chapters and angsty-ness, but there is a purpose. I'm trying to get us back onto the canon track (at least to a point) and then it may revert back to AU-land, but first we have to pick up the pieces. Hang in there.**


	7. Chapter 7

Andy pushed around the beets and arugula in his salad, "Why didn't you tell me you were filing for divorce?" He finally asked, knowing that there was no reason she would have to tell him. They had found their way back to a friendship, but by no means was she beholden to tell him about personal things like that. That at some point she was going to be free of Jack, no longer carrying the married woman label. He had hoped she would have told him, he was always holding out hope that maybe it would still work out between them.

"How did you hear?" She asked softly, not surprised that he found out but feeling annoyed that her plans were falling apart.

He noticed that she wasn't denying it, "Provenza. He saw the papers on your desk last week."

Sharon nodded her head and took a drink of her tea, "Hmm," was all she thought to say about that. She didn't like her direct reports, or anyone for that matter, snooping at private things on her desk. Figuring now was as good a time as any, she decided to share with Andy the reason why, "I'm adopting Rusty. Jack won't consider it, so I'm filing. It's really the last straw. You wouldn't believe what he said to Rusty about the whole thing."

Andy felt his heartbreak, on one hand he was happy for her and the kid. Adoption made sense, he was in all other ways but legally her kid. He was just disappointed that Provenza had gotten it so wrong, even if he knew it would never be because of him, "Ah, I can't wait to tell Provenza. He thinks it's because of me." He tried to make it sound less wistful, but it still came out a bit somber.

Sharon smiled, "Yes well Jack told Rusty that I'm dating someone and pressed him for information on who I'm seeing."

Andy looked at her with a puzzled expression, he didn't think she was seeing anyone, and wasn't sure what made Jack think that, "Oh really, so whose the lucky guy?" He asked part sarcastically, knowing she would never say anything.

"Well as I told Rusty, I'm not seeing anyone. What I failed to add was, _not yet_." She stared at him hoping to make eye contact, to try and convey her meaning.

Andy couldn't lift his eyes to hers, even though he felt her stare, "Well I suppose once you're free of Jack you can move on with your life. Get out there, date. Find someone else, better than Jack." He tried to sound positive and like a supportive friend but he felt himself failing miserably.

Sharon reached out for his hand, causing Andy to finally look up at her, "I suppose so, if he's still interested and assuming he's available." She continued to stare at him.

Andy wasn't trying to be thick but he wasn't really following, "Well he would be crazy to let you go. Any guy would be lucky to have you in their lives. I hope he makes you happy." Andy pulled his hand from hers and turned toward to the waiter asking for the check. He needed to get out of the restaurant, mostly he needed to find a meeting. He felt that pain bubbling up, a pain that his addictive mind said could only be healed through Scotch.

Sharon saw the look on his face and realized that she wasn't being direct enough with him, "Andy, you do make me happy."

He turned back to her again confused, "I'm glad Sharon. I'm glad we can still be friends after, well after everything."

Sharon shook her head, "Of course we are friends Andy, you're probably my best friend. But that's not all I want to be any more." She could see the wheels turning, sensing that he was finally starting to catch up with her, "Andy I want to be with you. I want us to try seeing each other - when my divorce is finalized."

Suddenly the whole conversation hit Andy like a ton of bricks, a realization that caused him to let out a huge Oh. He pulled her hand back with his and kissed her knuckles, "You mean that?"

Sharon gave a shy but happy smile, "Yes Andy I do. But I want us to do this right, there are rules that we will have to follow, and my divorce. There's a lot of moving parts to this, but I don't want to walk away _again_ from what we have."

They were interrupted by the waiter bringing over the check before Andy could respond. He pulled out his wallet and through some cash into the black folder, pulling Sharon up from the table. He wanted to kiss her, but figured that would be out of the question for the time being. Instead he hugged her as lovingly and passionately as he could - trying to convey everything he was thinking and feeling into that one embrace. "Whatever we have to do, however it has to be done I will do it. I want you. I've always wanted you. If we have to wait a few more weeks, I can wait."

Together they walked out of the restaurant, not holding hands but close enough for their shoulders and elbows to touch. "So about those rules…" Andy asked as he opened the door of his car for her.

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AN: Happy New Year - two story updates in one day! I told ya I'd pull us out of the angst. There will be two more chapters to this story before we reach the conclusion. Then seriously it's back to Syncopate - I want to wrap that before the hiatus is over. Did you see that heading down to matrimony bit in the summary?! Enough to make you giddy and almost forget that it's 2 months away still.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Six weeks had passed since their lunch together. Six weeks of slow conversations about their friendship, about their jobs, about their families. Six weeks of waiting for the proceedings to be finalized.

Andy's phone buzzed as it sat on the nightstand. It was late, but he had an idea who it was from. Since their conversation they had begun texting or calling one another in the evenings just to talk. Despite the fact that they spent all day at the office with each other, and sometimes an evening out together they never found themselves in an uncomfortable silence. It was one of the many things Sharon had worried about, as she set forth the rules of their _future_ relationship she didn't want to bring work home. They knew it would be unavoidable at times, but they both knew if they were going to give this a go it would need to be built on stronger stuff than case files and court dockets.

It was Thursday night and he left a little early as per his usual, to make it to the 7pm meeting. He didn't get a chance to talk to her before she left, she was knee deep in reports after having just wrapped up their latest case. Thankfully the FBI would be taking it from here, but they still needed to transfer all the files and evidence to the Federal Prosecutor working the case. He made eye contact with her through the blinds in her office as he walked out, she gave a knowing nod.

He reached over to the nightstand and read the message on the screen.

 _It's done_.

The message seemed cryptic to anyone who might be looking over his shoulder, not that anyone would in his empty house, but he knew what it meant. The divorce had been finalized. Sharon was officially, legally separated. He knew in her eyes she would still be more or less married. Both being catholic he did broach the subject of annulment with her one night during a phone conversation that was supposed to last five minutes, but ended up lasting for two hours.

 _"_ _To be honest, I'm not sure. It wouldn't be that I don't have grounds to file for an annulment with the church. After all I have all the documents showing the financial and legal mess Jack left me with, but I worry about what that means for my kids."_

 _Andy understood, it would be like saying her children were bastards. While wholly untrue and the updating teachings from the church would never suggest that they were to Sharon it would feel that way. He decided not to respond, he had learned over the last several weeks in talking with Sharon that she often needed a sounding board more than anything, someone to just listen to her thoughts as she processed and worked out the universe swirling around her._

 _"_ _I know that neither one of them has kept up regular attendance at church. They go to mass over the holidays and with me when we are all together, but it isn't as internal to their lives as it is to mine."_

 _"_ _Have you talked to either of them about it?" Andy asked, gently inquiring._

 _"_ _No, it was hard enough broaching the subject of the divorce let alone the notion of annulment."_

 _Andy paused, "Well, you said that both kids gave you their blessing - not that you were asking for it - in regards to the divorce. I recall you saying that Emily's words were '_ FINALLY!' _and Ricky had some more colorful words of encouragement on the subject. Your kids are all grown up now, I think if you decide that annulment is something you want to investigate further you should mention it to them. Put the feelers out there and see what they think about the idea. No sense fretting about something you don't know."_

 _He heard her sigh deeply into the phone, he could imagine the pensive look on her face and knew it was time to change the subject. "So the Dodgers are in the playoffs…"_

Andy swiped his phone unlocked and typed out a quick reply.

 _It'll be okay._

As much as he wanted to say something like, good riddance or about time he knew that would be the opposite of what Sharon would be feeling in this moment. He remembered his own divorce and feeling like a failure, and while Sharon was hardly culpable in the disintegration of her marriage he knew she would be feeling guilty about all of it. The phone went quiet and he knew there wouldn't be any more messages tonight, for different reasons they needed the personal space in that moment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A week after her marriage ended Sharon expected to feel different. She wasn't sure exactly what that feeling would or should be, but she hadn't expected to feel a rush of happiness. While their last case had been tragic they had managed to place a baby in a happy and loving home, giving him a family. While she thought that she had broken up her family by divorcing Jack, she was beginning to realize that was far from the truth. As she rode down the elevator with Rusty and her team she looked around and found herself surrounded by family. One now legally, the others both sworn and respected parts of her life. Her heart was brimming with love she couldn't believe that just four years earlier she had none of this. No affection from a team. No adopted son. No friend that could mean more in the weeks to come.

She and Andy had discussed her rules of navigating their burgeoning relationship and now that both the divorce and adoption had been completed she felt an immense sense of elation. Sharon told Andy that they would need to wait until all was done before they could go out on their first official date, and she felt challenge in not blurting out the question, "Do you want to go out with me Saturday night?" with her whole team as audience. Her cheek still tingled from where he placed a gentle, chaste kiss in the judge's offices. It was certainly against the rules, but in that moment she hadn't minded. She appreciated the connection, in fact she found she wanted it. Andy stood in front of her in the elevator and she gave his arm a light squeeze causing him to turn his head slightly to look at her. He found her grin infectious. To Andy Sharon's smile and completing sparkling eyes should be categorized as one of the seven natural wonders of the world, nothing made him feel happier than to see her so happy and so relaxed. He gave her hand a pat and winked before turning his head back as the elevator doors dinged.

The sound of gunfire was abrupt and deafening. Amy and Sanchez were quick to their weapons returning fire at the unknown assailant. Provenza pulled out his phone calling for help. Tao was closest to the elevator buttons and tried pushing the button to close the doors and send the elevator up to another floor. Andy dove behind him shoving Sharon and Rusty to the floor. The screams made the source indistinguishable.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Tao get us off this floor!" shouted Provenza.

Tao pulled opened the elevator box and flipped the override switch. Suddenly the doors closed and the elevator lurched forward.

"What the hell is going on?" Sharon from the floor, still covering Rusty with her own body.

When the elevator doors opened on the 2nd floor, Julio and Amy stepped out first clearing the area. Once it was deemed safe Tao and Provenza followed, "Barricade the stairwell Julio, we don't want the shooter coming up the stairs. Tao pull the emergency switch on the elevators." Provenza continued to shout orders.

"Ma'am, Lieutenant, everyone okay?" Amy asked entering the elevator.

"Rusty?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I can't breathe with everyone on top of me, but I'm okay." Rusty replied causing Sharon to let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Lieutenant, you can get off me now." Sharon stated a bit more harshly than intended.

"Lieutenant?" Amy asked kneeling closer to Andy. She saw the blood an immediately called it out to the others, "Call it in, officer down! I repeat officer down!"

The other rushed back to the elevator and helped move Flynn off Sharon and Rusty. Julio quickly pulled off his jacket and handed to Amy who was applying pressure to his right side. Sharon crawled over to his side, pale with shock causing the others to look at her with concerned eyes, "Ma'am is that your blood? Are you okay?" Mike asked of his Captain.

Sharon looked down at her black jacket and noticed it was soaked and tinged with Andy's blood, "No" she said with a shutter, "I wasn't hit," was all she could say.

"Since we don't know who the target was, I think we need to wait here until SWAT comes. Rusty, I want you to stay here," Provenza said pointing to the front corner of the elevator it was mostly shield from outside view and would make for a very difficult shot. No one wanted to say that Rusty could be the intended target, but after the previous attempts made by Stroh it wasn't outside the realm of realistic possibility. Rusty nodded and scrambled up to his feet and hurried over to the corner.

"Andy can you hear me?" Sharon asked the words barely higher than a whisper.

"He's losing a lot of blood," replied Amy looking up at Tao for suggestions. Julio's jacket was nearly soaked through.

"Is it just the once entrance wound? Any sign of an exit?" Tao asked going into medical mode.

They ripped open his shirt and pulled back his jacket feeling and inspecting the area for any sign of multiple gun shots, "It looks like just the one to the upper right side of his chest." Tao finally said, "Provenza give me your belt." He shouted as he pulled off his own jacket. The old man gave an initial look of confusion, but took it off nonetheless. He snaked the belt around Andy's torso and pushed his coat up to the wound and sinched the belt down as tightly as he could mange, "Where the hell is back up?" He shouted as he remained on the ground next to his friend.

Provenza got back on the phone, "Where the hell are you guys? We have an officer down, in need of immediate medical attention!" There was a pause before he continued, "Yes we are on the second floor in the elevator." He paused again before gesturing at Julio and Amy, "SWAT says they've got the guy surrounded, they're sending up a team from the back stairwell go down the hall and rendezvous with Officer Perez."

Amy got up from the elevator floor and headed down the hallway with Julio. Sharon remained on the floor clutching onto Andy, pushing the jacket against his side in an effort to stop the bleeding. She looked up briefly at met Rusty's eyes, she saw the panic and tried to offer a look of strength and confidence, "It'll be okay." She mouthed to him even if she didn't know if that would be true. He was loosing a lot of blood and needed to get to a hospital immediately. Moments later, they heard SWAT coming down the hall clearing the other rooms as they moved closer to the elevator bay. "Paramedics are on their way, we can't get the stretcher up the stairs, we'll need to carry him." Shouted Officer Perez.

When the paramedics arrived Provenza and Tao had to pull Sharon up and away from Andy's side to let the EMTs do their jobs.

"I want you on him the entire way to the hospital," Sharon barked out to SWAT as she pointed at Rusty. Officer Perez was familiar with both the boy and the Captain, and merely nodded in response.

The EMTs got up, "We will need another set of hands to get him down to the ambulance." Officer Perez gestured to one of his team members and brought them over, "Officer Galen will assist. Please follow the team," he pointed at the rest of the Major Crimes squad as they made their way out of the elevator and back down the hall.

The next several minutes were a blur. The courthouse had been flooded with first responders. Sharon followed the EMTs into the ambulance with Andy, refusing to leave his side. She gave a nod to Provenza as he and Rusty got into one of the LAPD SUVs to follow the ambulance to the UCLA trauma center. Sharon jumped as they closed the doors. She heard them asking Andy questions, but he had been unresponsive since the shooting began. The EMT was calling information into the hospital, but she couldn't get her brain to focus on the words. She stared at the EKG machine, there was a pulse. His heart rate was low and so was his blood pressure, but he was alive. As long as the dot kept blipping up and down she knew he was still with her, she grabbed his hand and squeezed "Andy, hang in there. I _need_ you to stay strong. We finally have a chance for that real first date, you can't leave me now. Andy do you hear me?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Sharon put the key into the lock, hands shaking as she turned the key, and pushed the door open. She wasn't sure how she got here, the whole evening had been a blur, she was running on auto pilot. She flicked the lights on, kicking her heels off at the entry way before moving through the house. The only thing Sharon knew was that she couldn't go home, not right now. Rusty was safe, he was being guarded by Provenza and Sanchez, she could trust them to keep an eye on her son. She was in no state to be vigilant and be focused, as wonderful as her skills at compartmentalization were, this shocked even her system. The team wanted her to stay with one of them, until they got more information on whether this was a random attack or a targeted assassination attempt, they were admittedly concerned for her safety. Any number of people would have a grudge against the Captain, former cops, criminals, families of people she put away. And then there was Stroh, they all knew that he was high on the list of candidates for having commissioned the job. Tonight though, she needed to be alone. She agreed to the patrol car providing surveillance, but she objected to having anyone in the house with her. Tonight she needed to feel close to him, and being here was the only thing she could think of.

As she moved towards the back of the house, she found his bedroom clean, but empty. Leaning against the door frame, taking a deep breath before she entered the darkened room. She flipped the light in the master bath on and closed the door. Looking into the mirror she saw the blood covering her clothes, her hands were stained red. She quickly turned away from the sight and turned the shower on to hot, steaming up the room, clouding up the mirror. It took her several minutes to peel the suit off her body, placing the discarded clothes into the trash. There was no saving the suit, not that she would want to try. She would forever smell the blood, feel the weight of Andy on top of her, reliving that moment if she attempted to salvage the outfit. She climbed into the shower and just stood for several minutes just letting the hot water pound her skin. She hadn't realized how cold she was until the heat began to build in the shower stall. Reaching for Andy's soap she began to scrub her skin, trying to eliminate the stain from her body.

The water finally began to run lukewarm, forcing Sharon to leave the shower. The bathroom was pleasantly full of steam, she could no longer see her reflection in the mirror. As she dried off she toweled off her hair and threw it up into a bun wet. Normally she would never do such a thing, it would make it a wavy, tangled mess later but these weren't normal times. When she opened the door into the bedroom the steam that had been trapped with her escaped quickly into the cool room. She emerged from the fog and into the darkened room. There was no need for lights, she was familiar with the room - she hadn't been in it for years now, but nothing had changed. Her feet shuffled under their own power to his dresser and she pulled opened the top drawer to find one of his under shirts. It was clean and smelled of his laundry soap, but there was also a small hint of him - or perhaps it was just in the room. In either case she pulled the shirt over her head and walked over to the bed. Without really thinking about it she sat down on what had been her side of the bed, she didn't often spend the night after one of their trysts but when she did she slept on the right side away from the door. Pulling a pillow off the bed and to her chest Sharon hugged it tightly, took a deep breath and smelled Andy. In an instant she felt herself calmed, as she often did in his presence.

Her body collapsed down onto the mattress, she was exhausted. It had been a long and emotional day and she could barely hold her eyes open. After a few moments she drifted off to sleep still clutching his pillow as she remained curled in the fetal position. Despite her exhaustion her sleep was fitful, she tossed and turned multiple times. The events in the elevator replaying in her mind like a bad VHS tape. Her subconscious drifted to the last thing Andy had done, kissing her cheek and a shiver flew through her body jarring her awake. Now awake she felt her heart racing and a chill in the air. She started to pull down the comforter when she remembered a blanket that Andy kept under his nightstand.

 _"_ _My grandmother knitted it for me when I was a kid. Winters in New Jersey were cold as you know and money was often tight. So when winter came we didn't always keep the place very warm. Eventually when I moved out here I found that it was too warm most of the year to get any good use out it, but I couldn't part with it." Andy said as he stood in the bathroom doorway with toothbrush in hand._

 _"_ _I think that's lovely Andy. It's a personal memento, one that your grandmother gave you just because you don't_ need _a blanket anymore doesn't mean you should get rid of it." Sharon replied as her fingers played with the heavy wool threads._

 _He looked down and shrugged feeling a tad embarrassed about it despite Sharon's words. She stood up and wrapped herself up in the blanket and walked over to him, "Besides it certainly keeps me warm." She added with a sexy smile. Andy finally looked up and smiled in agreement, "I can think of other ways to keep you warm." He wrapped himself around her and moved them back towards the bed causing her to let out a giggle._

That was one of the rare nights she spent the night, she smiled as she thought back to that memory. Even though they hadn't been together in any official capacity then, or arguably now, it was those times that were truly intimate, much more than any sexual escapade. Sharon moved to Andy's side of the bed and leaned down to pull out the blanket. She loved how heavy it felt on top of her, it made her feel like someone was with her, that he was there with her. The nightstand shifted as she pulled the blanket up and something fell off. "Dammit." She got off the bed and turned the light on to replace whatever she had knocked off, not wanting the room to look exactly as it had before she came in. With the room now illuminated it suddenly felt terribly empty, oddly she felt in the dark that she wasn't alone, but now she could feel some of the emotion bubbling up. She wanted to take care of the nightstand quickly so she could turn the lights off and once again disappear into the night.

She moved to the nightstand and picked up the picture that had fallen, it was of the two of them at Nicole's wedding. It wasn't one that she remembered being taken, but at that moment she had been literally swept off her feet. She and Andy were dancing completely lost in one another, her hand was on his chest, his on her lower back, eyes locked on one another. It was a beautifully candid, and intimate moment. She slid onto the floor as she stared at the picture remembering back to that night. Everything about that evening had been perfect, until their interruption. She wasn't sure what she would have said if Rusty hadn't come in, she had given it thought almost daily ever since. She certainly loved him, and he her of that she never questioned. At the time she was still married, it wouldn't be appropriate to accept another man's proposal. _But then it wasn't just another man_. She thought. It was Andy. She probably would have said not yet, but she had never gotten a chance to give him a proper response. Over the last year they had never spoken of that night. She thought perhaps when she told him of her divorce that he might have brought it up, but he was giving her space something he knew she needed.

Tears began filling her eyes as she sat on the floor, she wanted to put the picture back up and turn the lights off, but she couldn't tear her eyes off of it. _Will I ever be that happy again?_ She wondered. She pulled open the nightstand drawer intending to pull out some Kleenex. Her hands blindly felt around in the drawer looking for the tissue when her hand struck a hard velvet box and she froze. No need to be a detective to guess what could be in such a box. She slowly clutched her fingers around it and brought it out into the light. For awhile she held onto it, she recognized the deep red velvet from that night, it would be the ring that she had seen once before. Taking a deep breath she opened the small box and found the platinum band with fire opal inlay. The lights made the opal sparkle and ignite. It wasn't a typical engagement ring, there were no diamonds or flashy stones. It was a delicate band that showed the fire of love that they shared. _He really knows me_. Jack had given her a diamond solitaire, his dad gave him the money for it, it was big a showy. She was never very comfortable wearing it, as it turned out she didn't need to worry about it since one day it disappeared. She didn't need to wonder where it had gone, bookies can be very demanding. She replaced it with a simple gold band, but she stopped wearing it years before the divorce. This ring though was simply her.

She never had a chance to hold the ring, or even put it on given the events that unfolded after he opened the little velvet box. Carefully she plucked the ring out from the slot and held it up, turning it around admiring its beauty. _What's this?_ She didn't have her glasses on, so she had to pull the ring up closely and squint to try and read what was inscribed inside the band.

You are my fire

The dam broke. The tears began streaming down her face.

You are my fire

 _What am I supposed to do without you?_

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Two can play the angst game Clemson Tiger.

Next chapter won't be up until probably Monday, sorry lots of family medical strife at the moment. Thanks for all the R&R oh at to Commander, glad I helped you find MFMM it is wonderful, and supposedly there will be a TV movie of her journey to London.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Sharon sat in her car in the hospital parking lot. She kept debating on whether she should go inside or not. _I'm not anything._ She knew that wasn't entirely true, but on paper, legally and to the world she was his boss nothing more, nothing less. She wasn't the wife. She wasn't a sister. She wasn't his power of attorney. Hell she wasn't even listed as his emergency contact. To the ICU this woman was nobody, she would be denied admittance if she tried to see him. Then there was the question of whether she wanted to see him. No doubt he would be hooked up to all matter of machines. He would look pale and clammy. He wasn't awake. If she went in that room right now she wouldn't be with Andy, just a version of his body.

 _He better wake up_. She recalled another night many moons ago, when he had called her, wanted her to come. The rules allowed her in his room that day, although his injuries weren't nearly as serious. She knew that now of course, but the night she got the call she had no idea. They hadn't been involved yet, but that sexual tension had been there lurking beneath all their encounters. It was more than that though, they were never truly enemies they just enjoyed the spar. It reminded her of the good times with Jack, the early days when they were Pre-law students at Berkley. The debate was exciting, with Jack it usually led to them falling into bed together. Initially, she had felt the same with Andy. They seemed so similar, maybe that's why she was so attracted to him in the beginning. He was a challenge and she loved it. As the years passed she began to realize how dissimilar the two really were and she found herself drawn to those facets of his personality, of his character. It was no longer about the sparing it was about being on the same side, working towards something together. She found that was as exciting if not more so than debates she encountered with Jack. With Andy they were - simply - complementary. Seemingly opposites in every way, but in so many fundamental ways - like family and justice they were the same.

Her fingers toyed with her necklace fingering the chain mindlessly, hoping it would calm her nerves, guide her, she wasn't really sure. Sharon was startled out of her thoughts when a light knock rapped on her driver window. She took her seatbelt off and stepped out of the car and embraced the woman in a long hug. They buried their faces into one another's shoulders as they swayed. Finally lifting their heads up they gave a light chuckle as they caught the other wiping tears away.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I wasn't sure if I should go inside, they said - last night they said only family."

The woman nodded, but was still trying to collect herself.

Sharon continued, "I went to his house last night, I couldn't bring myself to go home. I just, I just needed to feel near him if I couldn't actually be with him." She wasn't sure why she was sharing all of this with her, she was immensely private about these kinds of things but with her heart breaking her walls were down.

"I understand, and I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. My plane landed this morning, I took the first one out last night when I heard. If I had been here I would have made sure they let you in. Dad would want you nearby."

Sharon was about to interrupt Nicole, to tell her it was okay, but the young woman put her hand up. "Sharon, I know you two aren't _together_ together, but he loves you has for awhile now. You bring so much calm and joy into his life, I've never seen him happier than when he is talking about you." Again Sharon wanted to jump in but Nicole grabbed a hold of her hands, "Please let me finish, I know it's complicated. You're married. You're his boss. He's a recovering alcoholic with a crazy ex wife. I get it. But I do hope it works out some day, that you two can get your happily ever after because you deserve it. You both deserve happiness."

Sharon pulled her into another tight embrace, uncertain of how to respond to Nicole's frank but beautiful words. She whispered in her ear, "I'm not married." Nicole pulled her face back and looked at her with surprise. _He must not have mentioned the divorce to anyone_. "Last week, we uh, we were going to try after" Sharon's voice broke she couldn't bring herself to say anything more and thankfully Nicole nodded understanding just what she was trying to get at. They stood together for a moment longer before Nicole grabbed Sharon by the hand and said, "C'mon, I'll get you in." Sharon moved along hesitantly by her side, she wasn't sure what the young woman was going to tell the hospital staff and she wasn't keen to break the rules, but she desperately wanted to know if he was alright.

Nicole left Sharon by the bay of chairs outside of the ICU wing as she went in to speak to the staff. A few minutes later the door buzzed open and Nicole waved her in, "They'll only let two of us in at a time, so when Charlie gets here I'll have to step out, but I want you to stay with him."

Sharon waved at her, "No, no that isn't necessary you and your brother should stay with him, together. I can come back." Her voice sounded hoarse and anxious as she fiddled with the pockets of her coat.

"Nonsense, I'll have to pick up the boys from school this afternoon and I can come back and relieve you in the evening when Dean gets home." Sharon continued to look apprehensive, "Please" Nicole said pleadingly. She nodded and followed the woman back.

Turning the corner she caught her first glimpse of Andy since they had taken him out of the ER and into surgery, she couldn't hold in the gasp as she brought her hands to her mouth. _He's alive_.

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As promised to Clemson Tiger, I've released the hostage. I know it's a short update but I really didn't want to detract from the Nicole/Sharon dynamic and needed to get people off the ledge about whether or not I killed Andy. I have to say a twisted part of me was tempted to go there and explore that fall-out, but what can I say I'm a hopeless romantic. I've decided to stop saying how many more chapters it will take to end this thing, because all my estimates seem off. This was supposed to be 4 chapters that was it, but clearly there's a story here in me that wants to be told - so I'm telling it whether you want it or not.

The reference about the sparing nature of Jack and Sharon's relationship versus that with Andy was inspired but the What Would Sharon Raydor Do? Podcast #6 with Kathe and Mary talking about what draws Sharon to Andy. Also, because reviewers wondered why Sharon wasn't at the hospital I wanted to make sure and address that, at least here in the states HIPPA laws prohibit so much information and access to patients for anyone not directly allowed. No matter how much Sharon might have wanted to be there, she is too rational to just sit outside the ICU and hope to be let in, or even lie. The story might be AU, but I want the characters to be canon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Sharon slowly slid open the glass door and walked into his room. The lights were still dim, but she could still make out his face. He was on oxygen, but appeared to be breathing on his own. There were bags hanging alongside the bed, presumably for fluids to drain. The machine against the wall that showed his heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen stats was blinking. His levels were all low, but he was alive. She quietly moved beside the bed reaching for the hand free of IVs and pulled it into her own. His skin was warm to the touch and she caught herself choking up. The last time she had held his hand in the ambulance it was cold and clammy. Sharon stood quietly holding his hand, keeping vigil over him for several minutes until she felt eyes staring at her. She turned around and found Nicole standing a few feet away, tears in her eyes, "He's alive," she whispered and Sharon nodded gesturing her to come to the bed and see for herself.

The young woman stood frozen for a moment, before slowly moving to the other side of the bed. Sharon looked up at her, "He's going to be okay." Nicole wiped away the tears falling from her cheek and nodded.

After a few minutes passed the shock of it all seemed to pass and Nicole regained her composure, "The nurses say the bullet hit his liver that's why there was so much bleeding. There was some damage and they had to remove a small portion of his liver, but they say it's okay he'll regrow it with time. He also broken two of his ribs and had a collapsed lung. It'll take him awhile to recover, but he'll be okay."

Sharon let out a sigh of relief, _He's going to be okay_. She repeated Nicole's words several times in her mind as a mantra or perhaps as a prayer.

The two women eventually pulled up chairs and sat down beside Andy. They didn't say much, preferring the comfortable sounds of machines beeping and clicking. They watched his chest move up and down with each breath. The nurses came and went, checking lines and taking blood. Time continued to tick away until Nicole's phone buzzed. The sound caused Sharon to look up. "Sorry," replied Nicole, "That was my reminder, I need to go pick up the boys. I'll be gone for a few hours. You'll stay?" It was rhetorical question, "Yes, of course," Sharon replied anyway.

"Well no one should give you any hassle and Charlie should be here to check in soon, if you need a break." Nicole added.

"I'm fine. He's going to be fine, so I'm fine." Sharon replied.

"Okay, you'll call if anything changes?" Again rhetorical, but Sharon nodded, "Yes."

Nicole leaned forward and gave her dad a kiss to the forehead and left the room. The room once again went still and Sharon returned her focus on Andy's breathing. At one point one of the nurses mentioned that he should be waking up soon, they kept him heavily sedated overnight, but they wanted to get him up and moving soon, it was better for the healing process. Sharon moved closer to his bed, standing over him and leaning against the railing. Softly her fingers traced a line along his forehead and into his hair. Her knuckles brushed his cheeks as she whispered into his ear.

"Andy, I need you to wake up. I need to see that you're going to be okay. You promised me that you'd never leave me, that no matter what happened between us we'd be okay. I love you Andy, I need you here with me. You're my person, my everything - that I didn't even know I needed or wanted or was looking for, but you were there." She pulled back some and continued brushing her fingers through his hair it felt very comfortable and yet immensely intimate. Her eyes moved up to the clock, Charlie would be getting here soon. She didn't want to leave Andy's side now that she was finally with him, but she and his son didn't have the best relationship and she wanted to be respectful. She took a deep breath getting off the bed where she had inadvertently perched herself. Before moving away entirely she leaned in placing both hands on either side of his face and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Recalling something Andy told her when he proposed that she often recited to herself at night she whispered, "My Love, Always."

As she pulled her hands away and moved her face further from his she felt a finger touch her wrist, then two. The words were spoken so softly she wasn't sure if she heard them or was imagining it, "You're my fire." Her eyes flew open and looked at him. His eyes were still closed, but his mouth was moving and his fingers were now intertwined with hers. Tears welled up and blurred her vision she heard him whisper again, "You're my fire." The tears fell, sliding down her cheeks and falling onto the bed. She leaned in and kissed him again, "My love." She whispered back. They remained like that for a few minutes until Andy's eyes finally blinked open. Sharon smiled and let out a sob of joy at finally seeing his dark hazelnut eyes again, eyes she wasn't sure she would ever see again. Andy's hand reached up to her cheek and brushed away the tears that were falling freely now. She moved her hand up to meet his and looked down and up again, blinking away the tears, making sure it was all real. Sensing this Andy spoke again, "It's really me Sharon." His voice was weak and she could hear the pain, but she was elated. "I thought I lost you. They wouldn't let me see you and I had no idea what was happening." Her voice trembled as she spoke.

"I'm sorry I scared you, but I'm here now." He replied his hand drifted down her cheek as his eyes, now focusing again, caught sight of something dangling from the chain on her neck.

Sharon looked down following his hand, the necklace she was wearing had come out her blouse as she leaned in to kiss him. His hands touched the ring hanging from the chain, "How?" He asked confused.

She looked up at him, "When they wouldn't let me see you, I, I couldn't go home. I went to your house, I just need to feel near you. I found it in the drawer when I went to grab your grandmother's blanket." She paused uncertain what he would think about her taking it out of its box, but he just continued to stare at it, so she continued. "I sat on the floor with your blanket and the picture of us from the wedding and I held the ring. I never actually got a good look at it before," she said bashfully, "I, uh, I didn't know you had it inscribed." Her hand went up to the ring and felt the etching as she had done repeatedly since stumbling across it.

Andy was beside himself, between the pain and all the medication his brain was running slower than normal, he couldn't make out the significance of her sort of wearing the engagement ring he bought for her a year earlier. Sharon met his eyes and saw the confusion, "I'm not sure if we missed our moment. It seems that fate brings us together only to pull us apart again. I know before all this happened we talked about giving us another try - a real try." She paused to make sure Andy was following, when she saw him nodded she continued, "I still want that, I want you and while I'm not saying we need to rush down the aisle I would like to work towards that." Her eyes drifted down again, it wasn't like her to fully put herself out there, to risk her heart in such an honest way, but if there was ever a moment, ever a time to do so it was now. She was committed she realized, for the first time in all their years together she was 100% fully committed to him, to making a future together.

Andy's hand moved up to her chin, drawing her eyes back to his, "I want that too, I've never stopped wanting that." Sharon's eyes filled up again with tears and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. Andy pulled her down to him and kissed her, it was a soft kiss but one filled with promise and a future. She smiled again his lips and kissed him again.

*Cough*

They froze.

"Er, um, so I guess you're feeling better?" Charlie said sarcastically as he entered the room spotting Sharon half lying on his father's hospital bed in an intimate embrace.

 **AN: Hooray, no need to throw stones and daggers - he's alive and they're in love! And thank you all for the story love!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"So you're telling me that even though we know Stroh is the one that ordered the hit, we can't do a damn thing about it?" Provenza shouted throwing his hands up as he paced in front of the murder board.

Everyone was frustrated, Sharon most of all. Officers were once again posted in front of her condo and a detail was assigned to follow Rusty. Despite the boy being familiar with the situation, he was once again struggling with the notion of having his freedom taken away. She was grateful that he was taking the situation seriously and keeping his sarcastic remarks to himself. A small smile formed at her lips thinking about how her son had grown and matured over the last year. Her thoughts were jarred once again by her second in command, "Captain, what are we supposed to do now?"

She shook her head and let out a sigh as she turned towards the empty chair next to her office, she missed Andy's presence in more than one way. They worked well together in these kinds of situations, bouncing ideas off each other and going down similar rabbit holes to solve a case. She put her hands on her hips, widened her stance and turned back towards the murder board. They were all too close to this case, but Chief Pope agreed for the time being to let them have lead on the investigation.

"Lieutenant, I understand your frustration, but we don't have enough evidence to bring him in for questioning or to get a DA involved," she paused, "Amy can you call Lt. Cooper up? I want to see if we can get some inside information from the jail. In the meantime, we need to look into other connections and motives that Mr. Jacobs might have had. Mike you and Julio, please bring the girlfriend back in for questioning."

She turned around and walked back into her office, wanting just a moment to herself she closed the blinds. She knew that her privacy was going to be invaded even more in the coming days as every aspect of her personal and professional life would be scrutinized and reviewed for clues. At this point the working theory was still that she and/or Rusty were the primary targets, but they found nothing in the man's home to corroborate that idea. Unconsciously, her hands began to fiddle with the ring dangling from her neck. She hadn't taken it off since finding it three days ago. As much as she hated leaving his side, she knew she was needed here. Nicole and Charlie were looking after Andy during the day and she stopped by when she could. He was making good progress and was moved down from ICU this morning. Thanks to Charlie's interruption and her focus shifting to the case they hadn't had a chance to continue their talk, but as she poked a finger through the band she knew it was okay that they'd be alright. _Now to get this dirtbag that wants to keep us from our happiness_. She thought and then shook her head, Andy really had penetrated every part of her life.

Sharon took a deep breath, re-opened the blinds to her office and stared back at the board. Something just didn't add up. It wasn't that she thought Stroh was going to make it easy for them to connect him to the assassination attempt, but this big public show wasn't really his style. It seemed odd that he would want such attention, it was going to restrict his movements and bring more problems for him - whether it had been successful or not. No there was just something off, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Hours later, she stretched back in her chair. Every muscle feeling stiff and fatigued from being hunched over her desk staring at evidence. She looked at her watch it was already nearly 8 and her team had been here since the night before. Before she could get up and let her team go home and get some rest before starting fresh in the morning her cell rang.

"Captain Raydor." She answered without checking the caller ID.

"Hey you."

A large smile formed on her face, she leaned back in her chair and turned it around to get a little privacy, "Hey yourself."

"Still burning the midnight oil?" He asked.

"Yeah," she let out a deep sigh, "I was just about to send the team home, and that's all the information on the case you're going to get out of me." She knew how much he wanted to be here helping the team, helping her but she needed him to focus on getting better.

"I wasn't sure I was going to get to see you tonight, so I thought I'd call and check in on you. How are you holding up?"

"Should I be the one asking you that?" She chucked, "I'm tired and looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight. I think Rusty and I will both be happy when this case is solved and we can lose the protective detail."

She could hear him smile on the other end, "Well, just so long as neither of you give them the slip, or I'll have to break out of here and come after you."

"How do you know you'd find me?" She replied.

"Oh, I would find you, don't you worry about that," he paused, "So, do I get to see you later?"

Sharon looked down at her watch again, it was already late but she could use the pick me up, "Is that an invitation?"

"As good of an invitation as I can provide at the moment, I can promise you some ice chips and orange jello. How's that for a hot date?" He asked.

She hummed into the phone, "Sounds enticing, how could I turn down such an offer." She paused and her voice took on a more serious tone, "I need a few minutes to wrap up, but I'll be by. I promise."

"Drive safe, see you soon," there was another pause, "Oh and Sharon, the kids have gone home so we have the hospital room all to ourselves."

She let out a snort and laughed, it was the first time she had laughed in days and it felt good. It felt full of hope. Despite everything for the first time in a long time it seemed like she was finally getting a chance at happiness. "Good to know. I'll see you soon Andy." The pair hung up and she packed up her things and shut the light off in her office.

"Alright, let's come back at this with some fresh eyes. Please go home and get some rest, I'll see you all in the morning." The team nodded and made quick work of gathering coats and badges, no one wanted to take a chance on something happening to change the opportunity for shut-eye.

As she walked across the murder room, protective detail in tow, she paused at the murder board one last time. She couldn't shake the feeling that they were missing something. Her eyes shut for a moment, _A few more tonights and then Andy and I can get back to (re)building our life together_. Her eyes opened and she quickened her pace to the elevators anxious to get to spend a little time with him tonight.

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AN: A family medical crisis has come up as well as starting three part time jobs/internships that is going to make it hard for me to stay on top of frequent posts. Please be patient, I do have a whole plan in store for this story which eventually will come to fruition. Thanks for the R&R. I'm glad everyone enjoyed that last chapter and life is always giving us interruptions, so it is important to savor the moment(s) when you have them.


	14. Chapter 14

Tonight

Chapter 14

"So Captain are we still working on the theory that you and Rusty were the target?" Taylor barked.

Sharon stood up and took a slightly defensive posture, "Yes Chief. With the adoption completely Stroh has lost some leverage. It would have been easy to find the court records confirming our appointment with Judge Richwood. We know that Stroh still has friends in the justice community, so even if he didn't look it up himself I'm sure word got to him in prison."

Taylor nodded, "I know the video supports that the shooter fired into the crowded elevator where you and Rusty were, but how do we _know_ he was aiming at either of you?"

Sharon turned her back towards Taylor and maneuvered to the other side of her desk, "I suppose we don't _know_ for certain at the moment, but it is the most logical explantation." She paused, "Chief it is the only theory we have to go on right now, so until we know more we cannot rule out Stroh."

Taylor let out a deep sigh and threw his hands up, but before he could respond a knock interrupted him.

"Ma'am," Julio asked as he slowly pushed open the door turned towards his Captain, "Morales is ready for us."

Sharon nodded, "Anything else Chief?" Taylor shook his head, "Keep me in the loop, Captain," and then disappeared out her office.

"Okay Detective let's not keep the doctor waiting." She knew this was merely a formality everyone knew the cause of death. Court cameras and body cams caught the whole thing on film.

She paused again looking at the murder board, they were no further this morning than they were the night before. Aside from William Jacobs picture up on the white board there was little else to go on, "Lieutenant have we heard back from County?"

Provenza shrugged, "They tossed his cell last night. No sign of any cell phone or other contraband that he could have used to contact anyone on the outside. He's been in solitary since all that Wade Weller business. Aside from some religious books and astrological nonsense there is nothing of note."

Sharon gave a hum, "Any word on video of his visitors?"

"The only person to see Stroh was Rothman and she hasn't been by in a few weeks."

"Don't you find that odd?" Sharon asked, "He's supposedly preparing for his trial and he's had no visits with his attorney in several weeks?"

Tao jumped in, "Maybe Rothman has been working on another case?"

"Or on vacation?" Buzz added hopefully.

"Let's look into that, something just doesn't feel right." With that Sharon walked out of PAB with Sanchez in tow headed down the street to the morgue.

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"So Doctor what can you tell us," Sharon paused as she moved towards the body of the man that almost killed Andy, "That we don't already know."

Morales smirked, "Well for one thing your guy isn't who he said he was, or rather who his driver's license says."

Sharon spun towards Julio at the new information, "Really? Who is he?"

"According to his fingerprints he's no one. There is no record of him being input into the system. When we pulled up information on William Jacobs we found that there was no match. The real Mr. Jacobs is a 87 year old man living in a nursing home in West Covina. The ID is a fake." Morales said as he continued to fill out his report.

"So we have no idea who the dead guy is," Sanchez asked.

"Not yet. We've taken DNA to run and see if we get a match, but given the fingerprints didn't hit I'm not hopeful." He said handing over the official copy of his report to the Captain.

Sharon took the report and once again peered at the man on the table, there was something familiar about him but she couldn't place it. She felt like she had seen his face or someone who looked like him before, but couldn't grab onto more the thought itself was fleeting. "Thank you doctor," she offered as she and Julio made their way out.

"Hey I meant to ask. How's Lt. Flynn?" Morales asked.

Sharon was caught slightly off guard, "He's awake and being moved out of ICU this afternoon. He's not completely out of the woods, doctors are still monitoring for infection but he should make a full recovery."

"That's great. Man the poor guy has the worst luck. Shot, stab, nearly run down by a car," Morales shook his head, "Give him my best.'

She nodded, but something he said made a shiver go down her spine, "Can you run that DNA for a familial match?"

"Sure, that would be the plan if we didn't get anywhere with the initial sample comparison. Do you know something I don't Captain?" Morales inquired cheekily.

"No, but I have a hunch and I have you to thank for it." She said without elaborating. Her steps down the hall quickened, Sanchez could barely keep up before she reached the elevator.

"What are you thinking ma'am?" He asked as he stepped in with her.

"I'm thinking that while this could still be Stroh and it does seem to have Stroh written all over it, maybe Rusty wasn't the target. Maybe Andy was the target all along. And maybe there is a reason why we can't ID our suspect." She said eyes darting back and forth as the rest of her tried to catch up with this new train of would keep Rusty's protection and continue looking at the Stroh angle, but for the first time in nearly a day she felt like they finally had something to go on, which was odd since they essentially had nothing. "Call the team, tell them to pull all of Andy's old cases.

Julio gave her a questioning glance, "All of them ma'am?"

"I know it's a lot, but yes all of them." Sharon looked at Julio and added, "And I want them to pay particular attention to those looking for appeals and overly attentive family."

Julio could tell she was onto something, but wasn't ready to share all the details yet. He pulled out his phone and called Tao the second they stepped off the elevator.

It was going to be another long day and night, but she knew if she was right that they could resolve all this soon and then maybe life could get back to normal. She and Andy could move on with their lives, together she hoped. For now, she needed to find out who wanted the love of her life dead.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Okay what do we have?" Sharon asked after returning to the office.

"Well Captain, you were right about Stroh. Apparently, Linda Rothman is no longer representing Phillip Stroh and that's why she hasn't been by to visit." Tao offered up, removing Rothman's picture from the murder board.

"Do we know if he has hired anyone to take her place?" Sharon followed up.

"It appears he hasn't. We double checked with Rios and our best guess is that he is intending to represent himself." Tao responded.

Sharon gave a surprised look to the team, "Well I guess we can deal with that news later. So to the best of our knowledge Phillip Stroh hasn't had any contact outside the prison, and no opportunity to pass along a hit?"

Provenza stood up and moved to the board, "It would seem so. As much as it pains me to say it Captain, I don't think Stroh had anything to do with this attempt on Flynn's life."

"I agree, where are we with the files?" She asked turning to Amy who was sorting through stacks of case files.

"There's a lot to go through ma'am, Flynn has put a lot of guys away over the last thirty years. Any one of these guys could have a motive." Amy said as she handed stack of files over to Sanchez.

"Alright. Amy pass out the boxes and let's see if we can narrow down our suspect pool." She said as she picked up a box and moved towards Flynn's desk.

"You know, Captain —" Provenza started.

"No Lieutenant," she immediately interjected.

"You didn't even hear what I was going to suggest," he spat back.

"I didn't need to hear it, I know what you're going to say and my answer is no. Andy is not to be contacted in regard to this case. As far as he knows this is all Stroh and I want to keep it that way for now." She commanded.

The team nodded and returned to the silent work of reviewing the mountain of case files pertaining to Andy Flynn's career. After several hours they managed to go from over 800 cases to 20 potential leads. They were cases were the team had confirmed that the suspect was convicted of murder, was actively pursuing appeals or had recently run out, and still had family members around. Buzz worked through the night checking prison records and verifying visitations and that helped them get to the final list of 20.

Sharon stood up and stretched, every muscle in her body screamed with tension and fatigue. Her neck was stiff from being hunched over her desk. She noted the equal level of exhaustion from the team, "Okay let's call it a night. We can start collecting alibis and information from our list in the morning." She paused before turning back into her office, "Good work everyone. I appreciate that everyone is tired, but your due diligence hasn't gone unnoticed."

A mumbled thanks and your welcomes came from the room as everyone gathered their things and began making their way home for the evening. Sharon heard her phone ding. She knew it would either be Rusty or Andy, both made her feel guilty. This case was taking all her focus and energy right now and she had little to spare for her son, or her well whatever Andy was. Picking up her phone and checking her messages she saw two missed calls one from Emily and another from Andy, but neither left a message. She swiped over to her texts and saw a few unread messages.

Emily: So I hear that I'm going to have a big sister! Oh and another brother, but yay a sister. I've always wanted one of those. When were you going to tell us?

Sharon shook her head, she suspected that Charlie might have mentioned something to Nicole after he walked in on her and Andy getting reacquainted the other evening. He apparently heard more than either of them realized. She wasn't entirely sure how Emily and Nicole got connected, but it didn't matter at this point the girls were going to run them over now.

The next message was from Rusty, one that she wasn't surprised to see. She knew he would quickly grow tired of having a shadow, but until they could definitively rule out Stroh it was necessary. The final message was from Andy.

Andy: Sweetheart, I know you're busy with the case don't worry about me. The nurses are keeping me company. Please try to rest and remember to EAT. I'll see you when all of this is over.

A smile came to her face when she saw his message. She knew he would understand, that even though she wanted nothing more to be at the hospital with him her job was here. She needed to find out who tried to kill him and why — i _s there no where safe_ she wondered. After a few minutes she grabbed her things and headed home. It was too late to call Emily back, she would have to deal with that situation later. For now, she could calm her other son down and hope to come back fresh in the morning.

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It took several days chasing down alibis and checking out leads but they managed to bring their list of potential candidates down from 20 to 5. It took another two days for the results of the DNA to come back and finally identify their suspect.

Sharon looked up from her desk when she heard a light knock on her open door, "Yes?"

"Morales is here with the DNA results, I think you're going to want to hear this," Amy replied.

Sharon wasted no time and followed her detective out into the bull pen, "I hear you have news for us Doctor?"

"Yes," Morales pulled out a manilla folder from his satchel, "As you guessed we had no hits off the DNA, but when we ran it through looking for a familial match we got a hit."

"Who is it?" She asked unable to hid her anticipation.

He asked the team, "Does a Martin Lawson ring a bell?"

Sharon grabbed for the five files they had left as Provenza stood up at the board, "Martin is one of our five potential candidates. He was convicted back in June of 94 for killing his mother." Provenza drew a line through the names of the other four suspects.

"Yes, well I took the liberty of checking and Mr. Lawson has four brothers, so I'm not sure how much that narrows down your suspect pool. I can't tell you which of the four is in my morgue, but I can tell you he is related to Martin Lawson." He offered as he closed the file and handed it over to Tao who was eagerly reading over his shoulder.

"Detective Sanchez, pull everything we have on Lawson's brothers." She turned to Amy, "Do we have pictures of any of the brothers on file?"

Amy looked down at the file Sharon passed, "I'll check with the DMV and see what we can get a hold of," she picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Thank you Doctor, this was a huge help." She offered and turned towards her team, "Okay, I want Mr. Lawson brought in questioning along with his remaining brothers."

Buzz looked up from his screen, "Uh I think that's going to be a problem Captain."

Sharon moved over to his desk looking over his shoulder at his computer, "Why is that?"

Buzz read from the screen, "Well according to Folsom, Lawson died last month after his last appeal was denied. Cause of death was listed as suicide."

Provenza sat in his chair, "Well I think we found our motive Captain."

"I hate to agree with you, but I think you're right Lieutenant," she shifted her weight as her feet ached in her heels.

An hour later the team had finally begun piecing everything together. Pictures of three of the four brothers were located. John was in jail serving two years on a ten year sentence for armed robbery. Richard didn't have a record, but was working a bus driver for a school in Northern California where he lived with his wife and two kids. They called his employer and confirmed that he was working at the time of the shooting and were sending over video from the bus cameras to confirm it. That left them with Luke and Greg. Greg was paroled three months earlier for drug possession. A call to his parole officer confirmed that he wasn't missing any of his community service appointments and was passing his drug tests. Meanwhile, youngest brother Luke had no DMV photo or identification anywhere. He wasn't on social media and wasn't listed on the title of any home, car, or RV. It seemed that Luke was the brother in the morgue.

"Captain, I think I might have something," Tao shouted from his desk. Sharon moved over to his desk with the rest of the team, "When Martin killed his mother the house that she lived in went into probate. Luke was only 10 at the time, but both Greg and John lived at home. With no other living relatives they took custody of their brother. Fast forward 20 years later, both brothers end up in jail and the other one moved away after his mom's murder."

"What happened to the house?" Provenza asked interrupting Tao's diatribe.

"Well," Tao gave Provenza an annoyed look, "the bank ended up seizing the house at foreclosing to pay off the debts. That was in 2007 when the market crashed. From best I can tell the house remained abandoned until last spring when a developer bought the land that included that house and several others, a Borja construction."

Sanchez offered his thoughts, "I bet you he was living in that house until it was torn down and that's why we can't find his name listed on anything."

"Maybe, but what about the last 6 months, where's he been?" Amy quickly asked.

Sharon moved back to the murder board, "Let's bring Greg in for questioning. Tell his parole officer to bring him in."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It took three hours to track down Greg Lawson and bring him in. Sharon stood in the electronics room and stared at the man. He had dark hair and dark eyes just like the man in the morgue, their faces were similar and now Sharon realized why she had that feeling of deja vu several days earlier. She remembered seeing the man's brother projected onto the screen many years earlier when Flynn was stabbed in the parking lot of the AA meeting. She only saw him for a fleeting second before everyone began digging into Rick Zuman. "Sanchez you're with me."

She sat down across from Greg and pulled out a picture of Andy and slid it across the table, "Do you know who this is?"

"Yeah, that's the guy that put my brother away for killing ma," he replied easily leaning back in the chair.

"Do you know why we brought you in today Mr. Lawson?" She asked calmly.

"Well I assume it's because you wanna watch me give a piss test," he replied posturing in front of her.

"Knock it off," Sanchez barked.

"Tell me about your little brother Luke?" She asked.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "What about him."

Sharon smiled, knowing she struck onto something, "What's he like? Where does he live?"

"Luke's a good kid. Ain't never cause no body trouble," he spat out.

"When is the last time you saw your brother," she asked.

"Been awhile. I guess when he picked me up when I got released," he folded his arms and leaned back again.

"So three months ago? You weren't close I take it?" She asked needling him.

"We were blood, of course we were close! He's my brother." He slammed his hands on the table.

"If you were so close then why haven't you seen him in three months," Julio pushed.

"He's been up in Gilroy with _Dick_ ," he added emphasis on his older brother's name, "and he and I don't get on."

Sharon gave a nod to the camera to have the team check with Richard about this claim. "So if you didn't see your brother Luke, what about Martin or John? Visit either of them?" Sanchez pressed.

"Nah, I've had enough of prison I don't need to go visit'em. Besides I heard Martin got himself into some trouble," the man gave a chuckled grin.

Sharon pulled out another picture from the folder, "You mean this kind of trouble," she pushed the image of Martin with bedsheets tied around his neck across the table.

Greg picked up the picture, "Looks like trouble to me." He replied and pushed the picture back.

"Tell me was Luke close with your brother Martin?" She asked noting his lack of sympathy for his brother's death.

"I guess you could say that. Martin was closer in age to him, so they got on. Luke used to follow him everywhere. When ma started beating on all of us, Martin was usually the one pushing Luke out of the way." He said looking away from the pair of detectives, "But then he went and killed her, so I guess he solved that problem."

"Are you aware that when your brother was convicted he threatened Lieutenant Flynn? He said and I quote _I'll have my brothers find you and beat you_." She said referring to the file in front of her.

Greg smirked, "Nah, but sounds like Martin. He was always saying shit. I mean John and I are always in for a good tussle but I don't seen Richard doing anything. He always hated getting his clothes dirty," he finished with a laugh.

Sharon was quickly getting a picture of these boys and their childhood, she wasn't surprised things ended up the way they did. This was an all too familiar story. "So you wanted Lieutenant Flynn dead?" Julio followed up.

"This guy," he asked picking up Flynn's picture, "why would I go through all that hassle." He scoffed and tossed the picture back to her.

Before either could follow up, there was a tap on the door. Sharon stood up and found Tao waiting for her, "Captain," he spoke in a low tone, "I checked in to it and Luke did not visit his brother in Gilroy. I'm not sure where he was, but it wasn't with Richard. His brother says he hasn't spoke to Luke in about two years."

"Okay, thank you," she took the paper Tao handed to her and returned to the interview room. She wanted to know where Luke disappeared to for the last three months, but at the moment she had more pressing matters. It was time to notify Greg.

"Greg, do you know where your brother Luke is now? Or where we might find him?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Dunno, he could be anywhere. Guy does odd jobs. Pretty smart and good with computers." He replied with a shrug.

That could be why they couldn't find a Digital fingerprint of Luke anywhere, he knew how to cover his tracks.

"Does he have any friends in LA that he might be staying with or and apartment?" She asked still trying to figure out where he's been hiding out.

"Nah, Luke never had friends. I doubt he's got an apartment. He was living in ma's old place, but not sure now." He gave another shrug and started looking around the room, "Hey can I get a soda or something?"

"In a minute," Sharon replied trying to keep him focused, "After your mother died. Did you put her things anywhere? Sell the furniture? Put it in storage?"

" _Dick_ took a few things and said he was gonna put everything else in storage. But I got no clue if he actually did or where that crap went. Didn't really want any of it anyway." He paused, "But hey if he sold that shit and got money for it — then some of that is mine right? I'm owed that money it's like my inheritance or some kind of shit right?" He spoke animatedly.

Sharon again looked up at the camera, the revelation of a storage unit was big. "We can get you in touch with someone that can help you with these kinds of probate questions. Why don't you stay here a little while longer." She stood up and moved out of the room without waiting for a reply.

The team reconvened in the murder room, waiting for Tao to get off the phone with Richard.

"He did put things into storage. He gave his brother a key last spring after the house got leveled by the construction company. He thought it was to borrow some of his mom's furniture until he could get some of his own - claimed to have an apartment."

"And the unit Tao? Where is the unit?" Provenza shouted.

"It's a self storage off 60 in El Monte," he spat out.

"Okay, Mike I want you to call El Monte PD and have them meet us at the storage unit. Amy call SID I want them ready to catalog whatever we find. Let's go!" She shouted as she went to her office and grabbed her gun and badge and made her way down to the motor pool with the rest of her team.

Thirty minutes later they arrived at Stack and Store in El Monte. They called for a warrant en route and were able to get the part time receptionist to agree to open up the unit. Sharon nearly fell backwards when she walked inside. The smell was overwhelming. It was clear this is where Luke had been living for the last three months, holed up inside a 10 x 10 storage unit. Curiously, he had arranged everything to look like his brother's cell. A bed on one side, a bucket in the corner, and a table against the wall. As she made her way towards the desk, they found Luke's computer. Tethered to it was his camera. Tao turned it on and began flipping through the pictures, "Captain you should see these."

She glanced over and saw pictures of Andy. As he scrolled through she saw pictures of her with Andy. Andy with Rusty. _Stroh_. Her blood ran cold. _How could it?_ She couldn't see the connection. Everything felt eerily familiar to Wade Weller's basement.

"Bag it, all of it. Bring it back to the station. I have more questions for our friend Greg," she said shaking her head as she looked around the room.

When they arrived back at PAB Sharon picked up Greg's mug shot from the board, "How long was he at county Julio?"

"Uh," he flipped through his notes, "Fourteen months ma'am."

"And during that time did he have any visitors?" She followed still staring at the picture.

"Yes, his brother Luke came to see him a few times. What are you thinking?" He asked.

"I'm thinking that Stroh had a lot more freedom in county fourteen months ago. I'm thinking that maybe Greg was a bit loose lipped about his frustrations and family history with the LAPD. I'm thinking that Luke was an easy mark," she turned towards the team, "Greg said he was good with computers. I'm thinking that some how Stroh hired Luke to keep tabs on Rusty - Luke was all too happy to help when he learned about Andy. Then his brother dies and he cracks, comes after us in the elevator. I think that Stroh is still behind all of this," she bowed her head feeling frustrated at being a step behind this evil man.

"If that's all true Captain, how are we going to prove it," Provenza asked.

Sharon moved away from the board and headed back down the hall towards the interview rooms. She knew she shouldn't talk to Greg again, if Stroh was behind all this everything just became WAY too personal, but she couldn't help it she had to know.

She opened the door, shocked to find Greg was gone. "Where is he?" She shouted. She stopped an officer in the hall, "Where is Greg Lawson?!" By now the team had caught up to her.

The officer responded, "Well a woman came up and said she was hear to discuss probate issues with him, so I let her into the interview room. I was relieved for an hour to go on lunch and when I came back they were gone. I assumed you had released him," he said not realizing he did anything wrong.

"UGH! You did what?!" She shouted and threw her hands in her hair, "Buzz pull up that video now. You" she pointed to the officer, "I want that other officer up here now and your commanding officer - go wait in my office!"

She stormed into electronics beside herself that they had just let their best hope of tying all of this to Stroh walk right out the door, "Buzz?"

"Here it is," he queued the video and began to play it.

A blond woman who none of them recognized walked into the room. Greg smiled, he seemed to recognize her or at the very least was attracted to her. The woman sat down and appeared to discuss details of probate law and the complications of getting anything from the courts after this many years.

"She must be a lawyer, this doesn't sound like bull shit to me," Provenza offered up.

"I agree," Sharon said with a nod.

After a few more minutes the woman turned towards the door and told Greg to follow her to her office where she could give him some forms to fill out. And the pair left. Buzz pulled up security video from the building and found our blond walking him to the elevators and out the building. The got into a gold olsmobile but couldn't make out the plates.

"Buzz I want traffic cams, so we can see those plates. And find our blond I want to know where she came from and who she is. Tao, she appeared to be careful not to touch anything, but print the room anyways. Find me our mystery blond and Greg Lawson!" She walked out of the electronics room and headed to her office to deal with the stupidity of these other officers.

Before Sharon could finish instilling the fear of the full force of Darth Raydor on the pair of officer, Buzz walked in, "Ma'am I'm sorry to interrupt but we caught an image of the plates —"

She interrupted him. "Great, who does the car belong to?"

"Well, unfortunately the plates were stolen off another vehicle so we can't ID the car or who it belongs to. I checked the traffic cameras and we can't get a good image of the guy's face driving either."

Sharon let out a deep frustrated sigh, "Please tell me you have something," she huffed as she saw Amy walk up behind Buzz.

"Traffic just got a call, a car fire off E Washington down by the LA river. There's a body in the driver seat - male. It's charred, but I think it's Greg." Amy replied.

"Why do you say that? Is the car our Gold olsmobile?" She asked.

"No, it isn't it's a dark colored sedan, but my gut says that our mystery woman and driver took him down there and arranged to swap cars. The plates Buzz ran, the ones on our missing Gold olsmobile belong to this sedan." Amy added stepping aside as Sharon moved out of her office.

"Okay, let's get out there and confirm your theory. I hope to God you're wrong, but I feel like you're not," Sharon said as the team once again followed her to the crime scene.

The Fire Department was still on scene making sure that the car wouldn't reignite, between the foam, water, and charring it was hard to tell anything. The body was the right size and build, but they'd need Morales to run DNA or dentals to confirm. Everything in Sharon's body tingled, she knew this was Greg, she didn't need the confirmation to know. She knew it in her bones. Stroh was getting rid of loose ends. Anyone that could tie this whole hit back to him was gone. The case was technically closed. Luke shot Andy. End of Story. If only it was, she knew that Stroh wouldn't be satisfied with this. Once again he was steps in front of her and she was chasing to catch up.

The team waited until Kendall arrived and processed the scene before they returned to the murder room. They began pulling down pieces from the murder board and filling the book. The case into Andy Flynn's shooting was closed. Their best leads were gone. "I just want to say thank you to all of you for your work on this case. I know it's taken us all away from our families for a week, but really good work. When you finish up your reports, go home enjoy the weekend and I'll see you all on Monday."

They all gave a nod. She returned to her office and plopped in her chair. It was already after 9pm and she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was go home and take a hot shower. She wasn't satisfied with the conclusion of this case, but there wasn't much else she could do now, and certainly not tonight.

Her phone dinged, she knew it was Andy. She decided to call him back instead of texting, "Hey you, you're up late."

"I wanted to hear your voice. You know I'm getting outta here tomorrow —"

"So I heard, something about good behavior, although I'll believe it when I see it!" She let out her first chuckle in days.

"Hey! I'm good all the time now, when is the last time you've had to send me to sensitivity training? Oh and I hear our daughters have been plotting - so if you want to talk about whose being bad!"

She turned around in her chair and stared out of the window, nothing felt settled, but for the moment just hearing Andy's voice and knowing he was alive was enough. She leaned back and just listened to his laughable ramblings about being a "good boy" and how he should be rewarded later. There was a lot still to resolve about their relationship she thought as she pulled the ring and necklace out from beneath her blouse, but at least for right now for tonight she knew she was loved and that would be enough.

THE END

AN: I thought about writing an epilogue with their wedding or something else very Shandy since this is where this story originally started, but it took a few turns along the way. Ultimately this story was never about closure or nice tidy endings. I may revisit this series again in the future, but for now I think this is a good place to finish. Nothing is ever settled. Thank you to those that stuck with this story despite it's lack of updates. Stay tuned for the conclusion of Syncopate and a few exciting things I have in the works.


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